Waffle Watchers
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Wario, Wii Fit Trainer, Waluigi, and Wolf all go out to find the crooks that stole all of the Smash Mansion's waffles.
1. Chapter 1

Morning at the Smash Mansion always seems to start nice and calm. That is, until, breakfast gets announced.

And why is this a particular problem? Because it just so happens that a key component of today's breakfast is missing...

"WAH!?" Wario exclaimed in disbelief as he checked all the cabinets, shaking his head. "This can't be! Tell me it isn't so!"

The female, blue shirt Wii Fit Trainer yawned loudly as she approached the fat biker Italian, placing her hands on her hips. "What's wrong now?"

"What's wrong!?" Wario exclaimed as he grabbed the pale skin fitness trainer and violently shook her. "WE'RE OUT OF WAFFLES! THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!"

"Out of... _oh no!_" The Wii Fit Trainer exclaimed in shock as she placed her hands on her face. "What are we going to do without a healthy, balanced diet to start our day?"

"I don't know, but I'm gonna find who's responsible for this!" Waluigi exclaimed as he approached Wario and WFT with his purple colored tennis racket. "Snatching away waffles? That's just not rude, it's being a major dick! And I should know!"

Wario and WFT clamored in agreement with Waluigi, all three humans turning around to hear Wolf O' Donnell yawning loudly as he entered the kitchen with a newspaper in hand.

"What the hell are you idiots blabbering about now?" Wolf remarked as he checked the refrigerator.

Wario growled as he stomped his right foot, clenching his fists. "We're out of waffles, you space furry! Can't you have any sympathy to see we're going through an existential crisis!?"

Wolf simply poured some cold milk into an empty glass as he sipped it, facing the three strange human beings. "If I helped you all, would you stop acting so strange?"

"YES!" Wario, Waluigi, and the Wii Fit Trainer exclaimed in unison as they all nodded their heads.

Taking another sip of his milk, Wolf finished the glass as he placed down the newspaper, stretching his arms out. "All right. Wait here." He casually walked out of the kitchen, heading to the garage.

Several seconds later, the kitchen wall was broken, with a red Landmaster approaching the human trio. Wolf emerged from the top, motioning them to all get in. Looking at each other and shrugging, the other three jumped into the Landmaster as Wolf piloted it out of the mansion, heading down the grassy hill, with the mansion being near the Battlefield.

Master Hand entered the kitchen to check on supplies, sighing in annoyance to see the damage caused by the Landmaster. "Damn it, I keep telling these guys to not drive the Landmasters in the mansion... ugh..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Wario's POV**

_Wah... we haven't found any fucking waffles yet. on one hand, I've been picking a lot of boogers lately. They tasted good, too. Just like garlic. On the other hands, the other three losers were giving me shit for it._

**Waluigi's POV**

_Weh. I'm stuck in this dumb giant tank with these friggin' idiots. All because the goddamn waffles are missing. To think, I could be beating up idiots in Smash Bros now using my tennis racket... but nope. I'm stuck with these dorks in a tank. Looking for waffles._

**Wolf's POV**

_I'm getting sick of these bozos. The fat, smelly one is picking his nose, the tall lanky one is complaining his butt off, and the fitness trainer is lecturing us on how to stay fit. I really wish I was just out in space, collecting bounties._

**Wii Fit Trainer's POV**

_These guys just don't fit with me at all. In fact, the only reason I tolerate them is for waffles. They're part of a balanced breakfast. And I will break whoever took the waffles._

Wolf kept on piloting the red Landmaster through the mansion, with it going through the garden, chasing the Pikmin and various non playable characters visiting the mansion as the Landmaster blasted a hole into a wall, going through it.

"Damn it, I just put that wall back up!" Shulk complained as he had a look of disdain on his face, not activating his Monado to see what was gonna occur.


	3. Chapter 3

Wolf yawned as he was getting tired, with his red Landmaster crushing everything in the city of Animal Crossing: City Folk, which was near Smashville as various screams were heard.

"Have we found where our waffles are yet?" Wario remarked as he scratched his big butt, taking a sniff of it as he sighed. "Ugh, I don't smell terrible like I usually do. I should extend my shower periods from one week to two weeks."

"...That is disgusting and not fit at all, fatso." The Wii Fit Trainer remarked as she pulled a stick out of her shirt and pushed Wario away from her.

"Get used to it, vanilla cream girl." Waluigi snarked as he remarked the Wii Fit Trainer's skin color. "He's always like this."

"Will you shut up? I can't concentrate." Wolf snapped as the entire Landmaster shook violently, with them having run over something. Wolf took a glance out to see what they crushed, his eyes widening a bit. "Oh shit..."

"_WHO DID THIS TO MY FRIGGIN' CAR!?_" Ike exclaimed as his car, which was in the shake of fried chicken, was flattened and crushed, with all the windows broke.  
Wolf whistled as he suddenly gained his senses and pushed the Landmaster to go fast, with it leaving the city as Ike's eyes were red with rage and fury, clenching his fists.

"WOLF! **HOW DARE YOU!**" Ike exclaimed in Charlie Adler's manly voiced as he instantly transformed from his appearance in Brawl to his buffed form in Smash 4, dashing after the Landmaster as he slashed away the animal folks and objects in his path, somehow turning them all into waffles in the process.

"Run, bitch, RUN!" Waluigi exclaimed as he violently shook Wolf, with Wario and the Wii Fit Trainer screaming in horror as they ran around in circles within the Landmaster, with Wolf growling as he was close to blasting all of them, all of the morons not realizing the waffles that Ike was somehow creating in the process as they headed towards the city of Fourside from Earthbound and Super Smash Brothers Melee.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are we still running away from Ike?" Wario asked as he, Waluigi, Wolf, and the Wii Fit Trainer were all running through the fiery red stage of Norfair used in Brawl and Smash 4U.

"I don't know, let me check..." Wii Fit Trainer stated, being hit in the face by a chicken leg. "Yep, we still are."

"GET OVER HERE!" Ike bellowed the particular clip that Scorpion yelled from Mortal Kombat angrily as he was flailing his sword up and down and all around at the speed of sound. "YOU MUST DIE!"

"Argh! I didn't want to chase waffles for this!" Wolf snapped as he shot back fake plastic waffle shells at Ike, with them doing nothing at all.

"Augh... I need a shower-a! My underwear smells!" Wario admitted as he was sweating.

"You always smell, you idiot!" Waluigi pointed out as they ran through the volcanic area, with Ridley appearing out of nowhere and swooping up Ike, gobbling him up as if he were a waffle.


End file.
